Friday, December 23, 2005

The Greatest Wank of All is Happening to Us

Multiculturalism

Today it is fitting to reflect on that greatest wank of them all, multiculturalism, and the false dichotomies that Australians have been forced to swallow in the last few weeks. It is the pre-Christmas period, my life has suffered a recent tragicomic hiccup (I am sure the comic part will come to me in a decade or so), Christmas is not looking great and I am going to rant, spellcheck and preview be damned.

First of all: What the hell does "Multiculturalism" mean, anyway ? The "other M-word" is poorly defined. What happens is we take "Multiculturalism" away from A Sunburnt Country? Do I as a wog lose any of my civil rights ? No. Do I lose the right to eat my Mum's wog cooking ? Nope. Does the Thai restaurant up the road have to close down, and I no longer get my betel nut parcels (yum) ? No again. Do I have to give up the martial arts ? (They can take my .... dead cold hands...from my... dead cold hands... ) NOOOOOOOO ! (jumping spinning heel kick to the head of monocultural enforcement nazi)
Do I lose my right to practice the religion of my forefathers ? Nope. In fact, I can also be a Hindu, Rastafarian and Wiccan too. Simulataneously if I so choose.

So what is this multiculturalism thing again, exactly ?

Meanwhile, there seems to be a debate as to whether Australians are "for" or "against" it, although none of us are entirely sure what "it" is.

Is it our taxes going to SBS, extensive interpreter programs and other facilities ensuring that certain communities never bother to learn the language or integrate ?

Is it us turning a blind eye to communities with active non-assimilation programs ?

Is it our embrace of non-elected tribal leaders, clerics and godfathers as "community leaders" ?

Is it a two-track legal and citizenship model (handouts, leniency before the law) , as enjoyed by the Aboriginal community, and soon to be extended to the "Middle Eastern Appearance" (Read Muslim) community ?

Another issue with the whole debate is that we are either "for" the M-monster or against it. Hence we either accept that all cultures are equal, nice, and welcome, or we are monocultural fascists.

The main problem here is that there seems to be no room in the debate for saying the following:

Most cultures are ok. They are welcome. Some (a very small number) are not. We are very tolerant. Being tolerant etc. are hallmarks of OUR culture. Australia, multicultural and all, is a culture in its own right. Other cultures are welcome guests, and welcome parts of Australia as long as they contribute positively, and are not hostile to the wonderful, tolerant, prosperous and generous culture in which they live. If a culture is openly hostile and aloof it is invited to admit its problems and work to correct them. If it does not do so, it is invited to leave, like the unpleasant drunk that walks into your party univited, eats all the canapes, drinks most of the whiskey and then starts picking fights.

Also, religions are not races. In fact, cultures are not races. Religions and cultures are ultimately sets of beliefs, ideas and values. As such, they are rightly subject to scrutiny, and the demographic groups composed of individuals that describe themselves as of a particular culture or religion are also collectively open to criticism. It is incumbent on those groups to distance themselves, loudly, repeatedly, consistently and unequivocally from those who would paint their culture or religion in a poor light. It is also incumbent on them to ensure that anyone identified as a leader in their community who is not a paragon of virtue is quickly, loudly and unambiguously ostracrised. Anything less justly tars all members of the culture with the same brush, and calls them to account collectively.

We cannot condone the mistreatment of women, or the active alienation of new generations of Australians by religious leaders and parents with aberrant and backward ideologies. We cannot condone this, even when women have been brainwashed into believing that this is their choice. We cannot condone a culture that imports hatreds and vendettas from overseas.
We cannot condone the creation of an unemployable population, with little regard for the law, let alone the wider society.
We cannot condone a culture that is anything less than deferential, grateful and contributing positively to Australian security, prosperity, freedom and reputation.

Finally we cannot and must not allow the creation of parasitic, seperatist and hostile ghettos within our community. Any homogeneous cultural group associated with such behaviour has some explaining, and self-correction to do.

The other big problem with multiculturalism is that it calls for extreme self-hatred among the sweet, generous, and enlightened members of the host culture. When was the last time you saw a real celebration of Anglo-Saxon culture ?

Meanwhile, there are plenty of voices demanding that our politicians admit how racist we all are. The very flag of this nation is described by some of them as a symbol of racism.

Multiculturalism celebrates all cultures, but damns the Western, Anglo-Saxon culture that was enlighted and tolerant enough to make it all possible in the first place.

Multiculturalism does not admit that it is itself a form of Western cultural imperialism, unpalatable and unreciprocated by the less enlightened cultures that it upholds as paragons of virute while beating up on itself like a manic Opus Dei penitent.

We have much to be proud of, including our tolerance and diversity.

We need Multiculturalism to sustain tolerance and harmony the same way that the Aztecs needed to slaughter thousands of victims every year to ensure that the sun would continue to rise in the morning.

Update:

In a vital addition to the above post, Manny spotted a spelling error and I corrected it.Thanks Manny ! Am I the one looking bad here ? Heck, he confused Danes with Dutch! Ha ! All I did was invent the "Aztects". In today's battle of the error checkers, I claim victory, and expect him to buy me a beer.

There are plenty more spelling errors where that one came from, let me tell you. So keep looking. First prize for the most diligent spelling pedant is a (Male.VERY Male.) Stalinist Half-Ape Superwarrior, and an all expenses paid romantic date for the two of you.

Update 2:

Cynic found a spelling error. An amorous triple-Y chromosome Stalinist Half-Ape Superwarrior is making its romantically unstoppable way to show him the time of his pajama-clad life ! (most bloggers are a "him", and we right-wing death beasts like to generalise !!!!)
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